The Dancing Banana
by Underdressed
Summary: Harry and Draco take Ron out for his bachelor party... One Shot...Only for fun... Review anyway...


Harry and Draco entered the funny magical strip club, pulling a struggling Ron Weasley with them.

"Stop you two, I dont want to be here. Id much rather be at home with my soon to be wife." Ron yelled. Draco only giggled, while his, ah, er, husband, Harry replied." Don't be silly Ron, Draco and I would never think about leaving you alone the night before you wedding."

"Stupid Harry, Stupid Malfoy" Ron muttered. He never quite got used to calling Malfoy Draco. True they were now friends and all, but the name just stuck and Ron didn't bother trying to fix it. Just as Draco didnt bother trying to call Ron, Ron, he was still Weasley...

Harry and Draco were in love. The news was a hot topic for two years, they got married, and then it stopped, quite like the defeat of dear Lord Voldie. Harry, of course, killed him. With the help of Ron, Hermione, and shock, shock, Draco. I bet your wondering what Dracos parents thought about all this... Well, Dracos father has been missing since the fall of the Dark Lord (A little over two years). They say he was embarrassed. Oh not because of Draco and Harry, but because of the way Voldie went down... I mean, honestly, four underaged wizards? Humfph.

When Lucius left, and the money, which I must have forgotten to add was gone,since Lucius put all of it on Voldie winning the final battle, as you can see. He lost... Dracos mother, became her a completely different person, she now calls herself Sissa, and she married Professor Snape. Once every week she sends Harry and Draco baskets of food and a note just to make sure theyre doing fine and getting along ok.

"Oh, do come on Weasely. Your only going to live once, whats a life if you never take a chance. " Draco asked with his famous smirk playing on his lips." Besides, Im sure Hermione is doing the same." Ron scowled.

"Oh right, shes off letting two of her crazy friends take her to a club called-" Ron looked at the bright flashing yellow and green lights hanging over the door and winced," The Dancing Bannana, so she can get her first and last lap dance." Ron looked doubtful. Draco and Harry only smiled and resumed looking around for Rons new "dance" partner. Then Harry spotted her. She was rather tall, her legs were milky white and clean shaven, not to mention very toned, Harry thought there was something oddly arousing about them. Yes quite odd, considering Harry was gay. The woman had on a tight red dress, she was sitting and somenes blasted head was in the way, so Harry couldn't really see her body, only her legs and her red heels that screamed "fuck me". They were open toed and her exposed nails were, fire engine red. What really cought Harry was her hair. It was long and flowing, blonde. Harry reached for Dracos hand tugging lightly. Draco turned from his conversation with Ron.

"I think we should try her. I mean Ron loves blondes, though he'll never admit that to Hermione. Think Makes me think of fourth year during the Tri-Wizard tournament when Flour Del- oh whatever her name was. She was half Veela and Ron went bonkers over her blonde hair." Draco smiled again.

"I hardly think he was going" bonkers" over her hair." Draco looked amused. Harry chuckled. Ron was annoyed.

"Er hem, I am here you know. What are you two on about?" Ron growled. Harry and Draco pointed in the direction of the lady as they called over a bouncer. Ron looked scared. "I dont want to do this you guys. I love Hermione."

" It's just a lap dance, it will ease you. Maybe take some jitters away." Harry replied. Again Ron looked doubtful.

"Did you let Draco go out with his friends the night before your wedding so he could be fondled over by some blonde , err, beauty?" Ron asked Harry, whose face fell. Draco sniggered, and ran his hand up and down Harry's back.

" Gods no... I was his personal entertainment for the night. Beside Dracos friends would think taking t him out for, err, eh, fun was trashy." Draco nodded. Ron looked sick.

"Ok, I didnt need to know that. I could have lived without it." Once again Harry and Draco smirked. Then the bouncer arrived, Draco quickly told him the lady they wanted.

"Oh yes, you want Muffy, all you have to do is approach, erm, her and tell her what you want, you pay when you leave. And remember, she touches you, not the other way around." The rather large man announced. Ron swallowed.

"Believe me I don't think you'll have to worry about that" Ron muttered, Nonetheless, he slowly walked over the the blonde woman. And casting a murderous look toward his friends he tapped, Muffy on the shoulder. As the woman turned around four gasps could be heard, two mouths fell open, (Harry and Draco) One was a loss for words (Draco), one began laughing uncontrollably(Ron) And one wanted to die of embarrassment. (Muffy).

"OH MY GODS, Its you, Lucius Malfoy" Ron cried, tears of joy running down his cheeks.

"What is it you want, sir, " Lucius managed in his most feminine voice, although it was through clenched teeth. This made Ron laugh more. Lucius only stared. Finally Ron stopped laughing, looking apologetically at Draco. Who was still staring wide eyed at his, err, father.

"I believe my friends are treating me to a lap dance, Mal- ah err, Muffy, but seeing how a poor guy like me cant afford such a, " Ron paused, clearing his voice" Heavenly beauty as yourself, I shall leave now. I'm not worthy of your presence. With that Ron walked out of The Dancing Banana forever, taking with him a rather shocked Harry and Draco...


End file.
